


Voted most likely to run away with you

by Rae_Saxon



Series: Things with T - Thoschei & Taylor [2]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Academy Era Hooray!, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-09-28 00:16:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rae_Saxon/pseuds/Rae_Saxon
Summary: They met, they fell in love, they decided to run away together, and then everything fell into ashes when a boy drowned in the sea. || Inspired by Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift. As silly as that sounds.





	1. Chapter 1

_You know I adore you, I'm crazier for you,_   
_Than I was at 16, lost in a film scene,_   
_Waving homecoming queens, marching band playing,_   
_I'm lost in the lights._

There were eyes watching him, but he barely noticed them.

Theta’s whole attention lay upon the spectacle at the sky above him. Millions of lights, shining on the violet painted sky. Green, blue, red, silver and golden, they sparkled and gleamed, dove the Gallifreyans into mystic lights, coloured their skin with all their different shades.

In awe, Theta had laid back his head. His brown eyes glittered, opened wide, they absorbed all the various colours and turned them into something new, something with the power to compete with the illuminated sky above them.

Completely drawn in, Koschei came closer, but the other didn’t even seem to notice him.

Koschei, however, noticed that his mouth was half-opened and drawn to an amazed smile.

He couldn't help his own smile slowly forming.

And slowly life came into Theta.

His fine features grew to a bright beam and he blinked a few times incredulously, without once taking his eyes away from the lights how above them.

Koschei surveyed the coloured patterns on his skin, watched the soft pores that shone in rose-pastel colours and decided he was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“It’s beautiful,” Theta whispered.

“Yes, isn’t it?” Koschei replied calmly, keeping his gaze on Theta in awe.

Theta didn’t look down.

Koschei watched, watched, until the lights faded and the sky slowly returned back to normal, the red-violets filled with spectacles of lights were drained away by the deep black of the night. One after another, the watching students returned into their warm beds, calling it a night, the wide, tall red meadows cleared more and more, until only Theta and Koschei were left, both tangled up in their own little miracle.

Only when the last, sparkling light had faded out, Theta noticed he wasn’t alone.

“Oh,” he expelled, but Koschei just smiled softly.

“Where would you go?” he wanted to know.

His blue eyes gleamed in the starlight, his dark, tousled hair swaying in the night breeze made him look venturous.

Theta thought about it shortly and Koschei just loved how it moved his whole, young face. His eyes darkened visibly, his lower lip got sucked in between his teeth, lost in thoughts.

And then his whole face lit up with a huge, honest smile.

“I’d go wherever the lights go, when they’re not here.”

His voice sounded like stardust in the tail of a shooting star.

Dreamy, sparkling, free.

“We could go together.”

The words escaped Koschei before he could stop himself, his voice hoarse.

Theta laughed faintly and it seemed to resound from the stars, an intense echo of it clung inside of Koschei’s mind.

“I don’t even know who you are yet.”

Koschei grinned his cheekiest grin.

“Liar.”

He liked how Theta’s eyes shone in amusement while he returned his grin. He liked how dreamy and fascinated he could be by this universe, to forget the whole planet he stood on and still be firmly here and now, on the ground, aware of _ him _.

He liked what he could read on his face, hear his hearts sing, feel his thoughts tell.

And the wry, sheepish smile he showed while speaking his name.

“Koschei, right?”

Koschei felt his own smile grow without any effort.

“I knew it,” he retorted grinning and admired how Theta didn’t even bother.

The blonde only smiled cheekily, folded his hands behind his back and happily danced on the balls of his feet.

“And you are Theta.”

It wasn’t a question, of course it wasn’t, but the blonde boy nodded jolly, didn’t let the bright smile fade from his face even once.

And Koschei never found it easier to return it.  
  
“Well Theta, it seems we two share a room from today on.”

“What?” he expelled and Koschei observed fascinated, how one of his curved eyebrows shot higher.

“Yep,” Koschei grinned and stood a little taller. “I drove my old room mate to complaints with my snoring. Turned out he’s Academy’s head boy, so…”

He let an playful pout appear on his face, happy that it made Theta laugh.

“Well, in this case I can consider myself lucky, the Academy obviously doesn’t think as high about me as they do about their head boy…”  
Koschei laughed, freely and light-hearted, and finally met Theta’s grin with his own.

“Theta Sigma, I think I like you.”

That was a lie, of course. As sure as Koschei had never been before in his life, he knew he had fallen hopelessly in love.

And when Theta replied a simple “I think I like you, too”, he couldn’t help but wonder, how good of a liar the other boy was.

**~ Many years later ~**

“I just can’t believe her!”

“Unbelievable.”

“I mean, who does she think she is?”

“Really unthinkable.”

“How can she _possibly_ do this to me? One day before the ceremony!”

“Impossible.”

Theta regarded him with a dark glare.

“In case you’re actually thinking I wouldn’t notice how you just take my verbs and turn them into adjectives – I do.”

Koschei laughed softly and let the book sink, he had tried to read since Theta angrily stormed into their room.

“You have been venting about this for at least 30 minutes, I was simply running out of adjectives.”

With a slight grin he stretched out in his bed, then sat up to look at Theta.

“She let me down,” the blonde remarked tonelessly, let his narrow shoulders sink a bit. “She said she would go to the ceremony with me and now I’m without escort.”

“Okay”, Koschei sighed reluctantly. “I admit that was unfair. Did you ask her why?”

“What? Of course I have. She’s going with Torvic – Of all people – I told you tha…-”

“Yes, I do recall hearing that somewhere between your breakdown and the tantrum. Still, what I meant… Did you ask her _ why _she chose to go with the idiot?”

“What?” Theta repeated and stared at Koschei as if the other boy had just asked him what one and one was. “Because she likes him more than me, obviously.”

“Rubbish,” Koschei remarked and leant his back against the wall. “I know for a fact that there’s no one she likes more than you.”

“What, Kosch, that’s…,” Theta stammered and Koschei noticed with thrill how his room mate’s cheeks flushed in a slight red. “_ That _is rubbish. If this was true she’d go with me…”

“Not if she was sure you wouldn’t reciprocate the sentiment,” Koschei explained lazily and watched amused how his young friend shook his head in denial.

“No,” he finally brought out. “She doesn’t like me like _ that _.”

“She likes you _ exactly _like that,” Koschei retorted firmly. “Just like everyone who knows you.”

“Absolute rubbish,” Theta remarked dryly.

Koschei just shrugged and returned to his book.

“It’s still true,” he murmured while turning the page.

“_ You _don’t like me like that,” Theta countered.

Koschei snorted, laid the book aside and jumped off the bed, landing right in front of Theta, who was still standing in the middle of the room, watching him expectantly.

He smiled.

“Oh Thete…,” he whispered and brushed his hand through the soft, blonde hair. “When ever did I say I didn't like you _exactly_ like that?”

For the first time in their conversation a spark insecurity showed in Theta’s eyes, but he quickly let it disappear again and replaced it with a look of amused incredulity.

“So, you like me?” he grinned and Koschei recognized the challenging tone in his voice. His young friend thought he was messing with him just to be right.

He smirked and replied with a composed “Of course”.

Theta seemed to have to think about this for a short while, so Koschei watched him quietly, the darkened brown eyes, the frowning forehead, the chewing on his lower lip…

Finally, Theta raised his head in a defiant gesture.

“Then be my escort for the ceremony.”

“What?” Koschei asked and a surprised grin widened upon his face, completely against his will. “As a date?”

“As a date,” Theta confirmed with a nod and his tone showed that Koschei’s reaction left him startled.

“It’s a date then!” the dark haired grinned.

His gaze brushed his young friend, but he didn’t seem to notice his insecurity. On his previously startled face now had grown a smile, and it was all Koschei needed to see.

“I’ll pick you up at seven!”

“Wait what. But the ceremony doesn't... wait, pick me up from where? We’re sharing a room and… Hey, where are you going?”

But Koschei was already out of the room, out into their tract and shut the door behind him, happily humming.

  
Only when it knocked on their door at point seven, Theta realized what Koschei had been talking about. With a smirk and a shake of his head he swung off his bed and opened up.

“You remember you’ve got a key, yeah?”

He looked down at Koschei and noticed the casket in his friend’s hands. He could recognize two long bottles inside it, necks sticking out.

With a raised eyebrow Theta looked into the grinning face in front of him.

“You’re coming with me now,” Koschei said with darkened, sparkling blue eyes.

Theta couldn’t help himself, he smiled and let himself be led out of the room by his friend.

“You sneaked into the kitchens?”

“ ‘Course,’ Koschei grinned and threw a cheeky look back to him. “No risk too big for you,” he added with playful dramatics and got rewarded with Theta’s chuckle.

“Do you know me any different?” Koschei asked to know with an amused grin, while he pushed open the double doors that led them into freedom.

He still held Theta’s hand, even though the blonde didn’t need to be dragged with him any longer.

Theta didn’t complain.

But after a while he noticed Koschei was leading them away from the dusty ways and streets outside to the wide, red grasses of Gallifrey.

“Where are we going?” he asked with wide opened eyes, sucking in the sight hungrily, but Koschei just grinned.

“I know a good spot.”

Theta raised an eyebrow sceptical. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. You know a spot _ here _?”

The corners of Koschei’s mouth curled up to a badly hidden smirk when he nodded.

Theta couldn’t stop himself from admiring him from the side, the blue eyes that lightened up in a venturous, sparkling way.

He didn’t believe him exactly, but if he was honest with himself, it didn’t matter anyway. This grin on his friend’s –date’s – face, his hand in his, all of that had so much more importance right now. In this moment, he would’ve gone everywhere with him.

Koschei came to a halt.

“There we are.”

“Here?” Theta asked and looked around doubtfully.

On first sight there was nothing to be found that would difference this piece of grass from all the others. But he noticed that Koschei was watching him carefully, so he kept on looking for a clue.

Finally, all the pieces fit together like a puzzle and he asked with hesitation in his voice, “We’re… we’re _ here _?”

Koschei grinned widely and started rummaging about in his basket for a while, until he finally pulled out a huge, green blanket.

“I knew you’d get it eventually.”

With mouth wide open Theta watched his friend trying to spread the blanket, until he finally grunted, “Don’t worry, I don’t need your help at all!”

With a shake of his head the blonde brought his mind back into here and now and grabbed the endings of the blanket opposite to Koschei. With his help they finally won against the playful, untamed wind that had curled the sheet and managed to spread it on the soft, high grass.

“How did you find this spot again?” Theta wanted to know while they sunk down on it and Koschei once again stuck his head into the basket he brought.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked while offering his friend a richly ornamented glass made of crystal. Theta looked at it with another raised eyebrow, while the other poured in fuming liquid from one of the bottles.

When someone caught them here with this, they’d be in a lot of trouble – As they were so often.

“I couldn’t forget this night for weeks. I’d still see it in my mind, right now, if I closed my eyes.”

While listening to him, Theta slowly realized the reality of all of this. The steel blue in Koschei’s eyes was replaced by something so much warmer, something, Theta knew, only few Gallifreyans would ever have the possibility to see – Real affection, with a passion warm as a bonfire, enthusiasm and joy the young genius rarely showed.

Yes, this was real, it wasn’t one of Koschei’s moods as he suspected this morning.

He had led them to the place where they first talked, in the Aurora night, when he asked him for the first time where he would go if he could.

Theta smiled. He couldn’t stop himself. So much had changed since then, but somehow also nothing at all. Since that night they had been inseparable, two misfits against the rest of a world they didn’t need – And that didn’t need them.

They had made plans, sunken into them, night for night, day for day, wanted to travel the universe, visit every star.

He raised his glass.

“To us.”

“To us,” Koschei smiled. “And the miracles we’ll see. Do.”

Theta felt how the liquid – whatever it was that Koschei hat smuggled into his basket – warmed him up from the inside, sweet and sticky as honey or syrup it wandered through his body and left a pleasant feeling everywhere it went.

The evening was perfect, the wind was blowing warm around them and the air smelled of freedom.

It was a perfect little bubble filled with home and security right in the middle of the untamed freedom he had been craving since he could remember. And Koschei being here, the boy that combined both cravings inside of himself, security and adventure, home and freedom, it only made this evening even more perfect.

As if he read his thoughts, Koschei smiled at him warmly, this smile he only showed to him, so special, so honest.

“Tonight’s shooting star night.”

“Oh,” Theta remarked surprised and looked up to the sky, which was darkening gradually.

Koschei grinned. “Yeah, so think of a wish, will you?”

Theta wondered if his friend knew how his dark eyes could shine. How beautiful they looked in the spreading, pale moonlight, sparkling back to him. How his wry, content smile brightened up his whole, usually so serious, face. How much he loved to see him break every rule, with no effort at all, just this smile.

Had a shooting star passed them by, in exactly this second, he would’ve wished for Koschei to see himself through his eyes. But in the blink of an eye, these thoughts were gone again, and Theta felt nothing but the knowledge of being absolutely, perfectly happy with this boy and all their joint plans.

“Nothing,” he whispered, but before he could say more, Koschei had laid a finger on his lips.

“Hush,” he hissed. “Don’t tell me. Treat your wish like your name, otherwise it won’t come true.”

Before Theta could even overthink his words, they had already tumbled out.

“I’d tell you my name, too.”

Anxious, Theta started chewing on his lower lip again. He didn’t regret his words, it wasn’t that, they were _ true _– But he feared Koschei’s reaction.

Crazy, he thought silently to himself. He couldn’t remember to have ever been afraid of anyone’s reactions. Quite the opposite – Since he could remember, he had ignored them and followed his own path, had defied them, even provoked them with Koschei together.

And now, here he sat, worried.

But Koschei simply smiled.

“If this is supposed to be a proposal, I just want to remind you, we haven’t even had our first date. It’s a bit early, don’t you think?”

A proposal.

Theta laughed. The true name of a Time Lord – an actual Time Lord, as this was what they were becoming – was only known by the closest family – and their partners. He hadn’t been thinking that way, but now Koschei brought it up, he realized without much surprise that the thought didn’t scare him.

It felt like something that would inevitably happen. Tonight it would rain shooting stars, tomorrow the suns would rise, one day they’d marry.

Koschei had moved closer to him, drew his thoughtful friend gently into his arms. Theta smiled quietly and snuggled up into the embrace, leant his head against the other’s chest.

“So this isn’t a date?” Theta asked teasingly and felt his skin prickle wherever Koschei’s tender fingertips went.

“No,” he finally grinned. “Not everything has to be a date, you see? We’re good friends!”

“We’re cuddling,” Theta remarked and demonstratively snuggled up even deeper into the protecting arms of his “good friend”.

“Very good friends,” Koschei gave back defiantly, which made both of them laugh.

“But tomorrow’s a date, yeah?” Theta finally wanted to know, still laughing a bit and his friend nodded with solemn earnestness.

“Of course! I keep my promises!”

“Okay,” Theta said after a little while they had sat together, in perfectly comfortable silence, looking up to the sky. “I’ve got my wish.”

“Don’t tell me,”Koschei insisted again, but Theta just shook his head, softly laughing.

“But you can fulfil it, not the shooting stars. I mean, how could they anyway, they’re just debris, passing by our atmos… - ”

Soft lips brushed his, made Theta forget about everything else. He blinked but remained motionless, once, twice, then he raised his head a bit and reciprocated the careful kiss with just as much tenderness.

Both boys smiled at each other for a few moments, then they repeated their kiss. Almost hesitantly, Koschei deepened it, obviously calmer now that his friend hadn’t recoiled. Theta felt how one of his hands wandered up his back into his hair and then was drawn closer to the other boy.

They laid back on the blanket below them, still intertwined, Koschei on his back, holding Theta close to himself, who, with impatience, began to yank on his shirt and kiss his way down on his neck.

Koschei grinned, turned the both of them around, so he was lying above him and then pulled the shirt over his head with a wink.

Theta had never before felt like he did now. Desired and adult, safe and yet free. His head swam in lust and emotions, he even felt tears in his eyes that could only originate from complete happiness.

He simply couldn’t fight them and he didn’t want to, anyway.

With Koschei, below the starlight, he lost his last touch of childish innocence, and tomorrow, after their ceremony that would turn them into official Time Lords, he’d fly away with him, into their future, now intertwined for the rest of time…

Above them, thousands pieces of debris burned up to wonderful shooting stars, drew sparkling, beautiful tails in their afterglow, showed everything Theta had ever dreamt of, freedom, beauty, wideness, and went yet unnoticed.

All of Theta’s wishes were fulfilled anyway.

And finally, they just lay there, around them nothing but the high, red grass, like a wall protecting them from the rest of Gallifrey, isolating them from something they never wanted to belong to in the first place.

Theta had bedded his head on Koschei’s naked chest, smiling contently to the sky. He felt incredibly happy and just… complete, more than ever before and he felt deep inside his mind, that Koschei felt the same way.

Inside his mind…

Rassilon, he could feel Koschei! They had created a bond between each other like usually only completely qualified Time Lords could.

Koschei next to him laughed hoarsely, he could feel his chest vibrating lightly and realized, the other had caught his thought.

“We always _ did _ break all rules.”

Theta nearly got overrun by the amount of deep affection in his chest, intertwining with his own. He had known that Koschei’s feelings for him must’ve been truly deep, but it was something else to actually _ feel _ them himself, inside his mind, all around him, as present as his own and yet different, his own little bit of Koschei rooting inside of him, forever.

“Then let’s break this one, too,” Theta replied with absolute serenity.

All childish insecurity seemed to have left him forever after this night.

And even though Koschei must’ve felt his intentions in his own mind, his eyes widened in surprise, when Theta propped up on his elbows to whisper his name in his friend’s – his partner’s – ear.

Insecurity, Theta realized almost intuitive and with fascination, as the other’s feelings poured openly into him. The first and possibly only time he’d ever experience an insecure Koschei.

“I trust you,” he explained calmly. “And I trust one day we’ll join in every way possible, anyway.”

Koschei smiled in silence. Watched him, quietly, without even blinking, with those eyes that spoke of so much love, love Theta could now feel root deep inside himself.

And after a few minutes, the blonde had already begun to sink into blissful sleep, he heard a question resonating on the inside of his mind.

“_ What did you wish for?” _

Theta laughed softly, but only inside his head as his body was already feeling sleepy and heavy.

“_ I wished today was a date _ ,” he replied simply. “ _ I’d say we fulfilled that.” _

Koschei’s laugh had always been beautiful, but now it only seemed like an echo of the wonderful, wild sound dancing through Theta’s mind. Koschei’s laugh had its own colours, colours only created for him. He could’ve listened to it for eternity. And while he completely sunk into the sound, got lost in the colours, Koschei sent him another picture.

A picture of himself, face up in the sky, sunken, lost in colours that now seemed blunt and pale compared to the ones he had seen in Koschei’s laugh.

“_ I wished for you to look at me like you look at the cosmos, just once,” _Koschei confessed.

“_ I thought you didn’t want to tell me your wish,” _ Theta teased, but he felt his hearts warming.

Koschei smiled.

Crazy, how a smile could be transferred telepathically, filled with love and warmth and silent admiration, all those feelings that a smile had always inherited, but never truly shown.

Theta would never see this smile with the same eyes ever again.

“Well, today we break all the rules,” Koschei whispered softly and then offered Theta a metaphorical letter, pushed it gently inside the other boy’s mind.

A letter with a single name on it.

The blonde felt how the name anchored deep inside himself, became a part of him, forever.

In this moment he knew, they had bonded for eternity.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna give out a trigger warning for death & drowning

_American glory faded before me,_  
_Now I'm feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress._  
_Running through rose thorns, I saw the scoreboard,_  
_And ran for my life._

“I'm not nervous.”

“Of course not. You're absolutely calm. This is what calm looks like. Personified calm.”  
  
Koschei rolled his eyes, but couldn't suppress a little grin.

“It's just... we can finally get out of here, Thete. We're free. All we have to do is get through this ridiculous...”

He muttered something under his breath and pulled unhappily at the orange-red robe they were supposed to wear today.

Theta giggled and was immediately punished with a dark glare.

“You're laughing, but you have to wear one, too! Let's see how you like that!”

And with a swift movement, Koschei threw Theta's robe right into his face.

Theta, still laughing, quickly freed himself from the horrendous piece of clothing, and spread it out in front of him with a little sigh that ended his laughter.

“Lords over time and space... and still absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever.”

He was more than happy when he heard Koschei's reluctant laughter.

He looked down at himself, but before he could put on the robe, he felt possessive hands around his hip. Warm breath brushed his lips and with a smile, Theta raised his head to catch a little kiss.

He sighed against Koschei's lips and leaned into his embrace.

“Let me guess,” he grinned, even before his partner could say anything. “You'll help me taking it off tonight?”

Koschei's grin widened. “You bet.” He frowned. “Hey, you didn't find that in my thoughts, did you?”

“Oh Kosch, I can read your thoughts on your face, I don't need to look in your mind for that.”

The boys laughed and Theta pulled his head through the robe with a grimace. He got entangled within the silky fabrics and couldn't register Koschei's affectionate shaking of his head while he was trying desperately to free himself.

“Thank you so much for your help!” came a muffled grumble from the depths of the robe.

Koschei waited patiently until Theta's head showed up on the right end of the cloth, then raised his eyebrows with a smirk. Theta, who had just raised his hands to fix his hair, froze mid-movement.

“What. Now?”

Koschei nodded.

“But I just put on clothes!” Theta whined, but Koschei just grinned widely and with a theatrical sigh, Theta put off the robe again and found himself being thrown onto the bed within seconds, Koschei above him, placing soft kisses all over his neck.

“Okay...” Theta mumbled distracted. “They're Time Lords, right? They can wait a little...”

Koschei's fingers traced down his chest in feather-light touches, left a prickle on his skin wherever they went, as he hummed in agreement.

“Kosch?”

“Mh?”

“I think, they're talking about us.”

Snorting, Koschei shook his head over his friend's naivety.

“You think?”

“U-huh.”

“Let them talk, then. They're just jealous because their own dates suck.”

Theta couldn't help laughing at that.

“I don't mean the others, I knew they'd talk. But look at the professors. Carefully.”

Koschei followed his demand – Theta was once again fascinated by how perfectly unnoticed he could stay, a shadow, merging into an ocean, every look completely hidden...The perfect troublemaker – and looked into direction of the teachers, who were standing together not far away from the dancing crowd of graduates.

Indeed, again and again, gazes were being directed at them, hasty, quiet words were hissed and worried glances were exchanged with little frowns on clouded faces.

“Why?” Koschei asked with a darkened face. “What do they care?”

Theta didn't have an answer, he just chewed on the inside of his cheek and threw worried glances to the Time Lords, again and again, until Koschei had enough and took him by the hand to lead him to the dance floor.

“Stop looking at them,” he hissed. “Just act like everything's okay.”

He pulled Theta into his arms and started dancing. For a while, he let himself be led, let the opening hours of the ceremony sweep over him, even though he still felt an aching feeling of worry – foreshadowing? - in the pit of his stomach, brooding.

Koschei seemed to notice his discomfort.

“Just until Midnight, all right?” he whispered into his ear. “Then we can look into the Vortex and get out of here.”

Theta nodded shortly, so shortly, nobody but Koschei could've possibly noticed.

Get away from here.

Leaving Gallifrey behind them..

Seeing the universe, together.

It didn't matter. It didn't matter that the teachers were staring at them and whispering to each other, because tomorrow, they would never see a single one of them again.

He relaxed a little, felt safe in Koschei's arms, but still it was as if someone was taking his air away. He was beginning to feel sick and his throat had constricted.

“Let's go out and get some air,” Koschei suggested.

Theta gave him a grateful glance, nodded again and let relief flood him when he felt his friend grab his arm.

They wormed their way through the crowds of other students standing around, talking and dancing, outside into the gardens, where a chilling evening breeze cleared Theta's head a little.

The moon hung pale on the night sky, shedding gloomy light on the slowly darkening landscape. The sky was turning coal black, but Koschei didn't seem to mind the darkness. He had grabbed Theta's hand and was pulling him further out, to the little sea on which the ritual was supposed to be held at Midnight.

Theta could feel his hearts race.

“Hey,” Koschei mumbled soothingly. “Everything's alright. What's wrong with you?”

“I don't know,” Theta sighed. “But something's off, can't you feel it? I don't like this.”

They had stopped at the water. The moon reflected on the glassy surface, shimmering in its ghostly light.

Koschei laid an arm around him protectively.

“A few hours. Then we're off,” he promised him. “Nothing's gonna happen. Not to us. Not us.”

Theta sighed heavily, snuggling up to Koschei's chest and looking out to the sea, taking deep breaths as he felt the fresh air and quiet clear his mind again.

“Look at that – Freak and bigger freak.”

And there went the peace.

Theta felt himself beginning to tremble even before he and Koschei had turned around. He tensed and his hands clenched into fists.

Suppressed rage – Theta could feel it through their bond, worm its way around his thoughts, numbing everything else, isolating them from each other.

Suppressed rage directed at Torvic, who had now walked up to them, who had tortured them for years, thrown abuse at them at every given opportunity. All his past bland insults and mockeries crashed down on them both, forcing their way into both their minds as Theta was unable to black them out.

He had followed them out to the sea, they could just recognize his silhouette in the darkness.

“Are you talking about yourself?” Koschei wanted to know with a little smile, his threateningly gleaming eyes the only thing giving away that he had just been insulted. “Oh no, look, I don't see anyone with you. Gone alone to the ball, have you?”

Theta could feel Koschei's anger, but he hid it far better than he could. Buried deep beneath a facade of pure relaxation, an unconcerned smile and cold, blue eyes. He couldn't help but admire his partner for this aura of pure calm that he had always had.

But now that he could feel his true feelings, could hear his deepest feelings echo inside his own mind, it suddenly made Theta shudder.

He had always worn his own hearts on the tip of his tongue. He could shut up when he needed to (despite what Braxiatel liked to claim), he could put on a mask if he had to, but never had he been able to suppress his feelings as well as Koschei did right now in absolute perfection.

It scared him.

The truth crashed down on Theta, pinned him down with force. How long had he kept it away from himself, denied it while looking it in the face? His fear of today, it hadn't been about the teachers, the students, not their whispering, not their plans – It had been Koschei. This controlled, perfect acting Koschei with all of his many masks.

Theta tensed up in his embrace and the second Koschei wasted to give him a worried glance was well-used by Torvic – He jumped at Koschei and wrestled him to the ground.

“Kosch!” Theta shouted, but was thrown back by a hook to the chin. He fell to the ground, glad that the high grasses feathered his fall.

Torvic was giving Koschei another punch in the face, pulling him towards the sea. Theta got back up on his feet, feeling dazed, but stumbled towards Torvic to pull him away from his friend, but was soon shaken off again, falling backwards into the grasses.

A metallic taste had started to spread on his lips, but he barely registered the blood – Desperately, he watched Torvic, as he held Koschei's head under water, laughing mocking words at him, whenever he let him catch some breath, right before diving him under again.

“Not so cocky now, are you?” he grinned and spit Koschei in the face, then dove him back under the surface.

Theta didn't think. He could feel Koschei's panic rising in his own mind and it numbed every clear thought he might have had.

He could feel himself catch for breath as if he was the one drowning, water in his lungs, the urge to cough, but no strength to, no strength, the water, so cold, icy... And with a loud cry, Theta jumped Torvic.

The force of it made them both fall into the water, Torvic diving head first, while Theta jumped after him, his mind still numbed. He didn't even turn around to Koschei as he started holding Torvic's head underwater. He felt him struggling, felt his panicked attempts to come up for air underneath his trembling hands.

“Theta!” came a croak from somewhere in the darkness, but his name didn't reach him through the veil of panic and fury wrapped around him.

The body beneath his hands became motionless.

“_Theta stop! Let him go!”_

Koschei's voice inside his mind, sunny spots of light in the darkness, warm, warm, and so alive. Theta found back to himself gradually, clang to the words like to a lifeline, let them pull him back into the present.

Immediately, he retracted his hands from the lifeless body beneath him, but it was too late. Torvic slowly washed back to the surface, his eyes torn open and empty, his skin pale in the moonlight.

“Ko... Kosch...”

He didn't know what he was asking for, begging for. Tears shot into Theta's eyes and his whole body had started to shake. The water was up to his neck, but he suddenly didn't remember how to leave the sea, what to do, why there was a body before him in the water.

Oh Rassilon, he was dead, he had... he had...

Strong arms wrapped around his waist. He felt Koschei snuggle up from behind, pulling him towards him. His chin rested on Theta's hair, his hands held him soothingly close. The trembling got worse and Theta broke down into tears, would've simply drowned in the sea without any chance of survival, if it wasn't for Koschei holding him.

So they stood for a whole while. Silent tears were running down Koschei's cheeks and Theta could feel in his thoughts that it wasn't Torvic he was crying for – It was him.

It scared Theta more than anything else.

After a while, his uncontrolled sobbing had turned into quiet tears, his body's violent shaking had turned into a slight tremble and he could hear Koschei's voice close to his ear.

“It's almost Midnight, Thete. We need to hide him.”

“What?” Theta croaked. “Are you crazy? We can't just... we... Kosch!”

But Koschei didn't say anything, simply held him as he looked at him with teary, blue eyes.

He could hear his thoughts whirling around in his mind, strong, dark, desperate.

“_They'll never let us leave. Never, ever are we gonna get a TARDIS once they know what we did.”_

No, no, no, this was just a bad dream, a nightmare, he'd wake up tomorrow morning, in Koschei's arms, one day before the ceremony that was going to make them Time Lords, tired, but alright. They'd be alright and Koschei would be alright, real, without any masks, wouldn't be freezing, bloody and wet and Torvic would be alive and would torment them further, would mock them, wouldn't attack, he wouldn't... oh Rassilon.

He hated Gallifrey. He hated Gallifrey like he had hated Torvic. He hated the Time Lords, he hated how everyone could see how corrupt and depraved they were and how they still tried to hide it, he hated their cold-bloodedness, their conventions, he hated to watch this planet turn Koschei in what they both hated so much.

The next sob, he swallowed down, the trembling, he suppressed. Theta nodded earnestly, just once, and told himself that Koschei wouldn't be able to hear his thoughts if he just kept them locked away well enough.

He felt sad, steel-blue eyes glued to him and wondered if Koschei was sad because he knew his thoughts or because he didn't.

Then he grabbed the lifeless Torvic and dragged him behind himself to the sea shore, back to land. Koschei followed him silently, watched motionless how Theta inspected himself for blood stains, then realised drowning didn't leave any blood, and then looked around.

“We could bury him in the forest,” he suggested tiredly.

Koschei remained silent, but nodded. Theta started to drag Torvic behind himself but after a few moments, he grabbed his legs and helped him carry the body.

Together, they carried him into the forest, found a fitting spot deep in the darkness of a thorned bush and began digging. Nobody spoke, the silence had caught them both. Silence that would last forever. Silence, that would bond them together for eternity.

Theta was silent, because he wanted to save Koschei, wanted to bring him away to another planet, one that wasn't going to corrupt him like Gallifrey corrupted souls and wasn't it ironic, now that he had killed a boy, barely older than them, killed to save Koschei?

And Koschei was silent because he knew, every word too many about this would break Theta forever.

And the Time Lord in the shadow of the oak tree was silent, because he watched them, watched how they buried a student beneath moss, earth and needles, while fear ate its way into his hearts. Oh, he had talked all day long, had explained to his colleagues that he didn't, couldn't believe that this prophecy could've been about the boy, had told them what a good kid Theta was, that he would make true miracles happen, no matter his rebellious nature.

But now he was silent.


	3. Chapter 3

_No cameras catch my pageant smile,_   
_I counted days, I counted miles,_   
_To see you there, to see you there,_   
_It's been a long time coming, but..._

“Where...”  
  
“I have to... dry myself up,” Theta explained quietly, while worming himself through the crowd. Their fingers let go of each others almost reluctantly and Koschei was just about to follow him and grab his hand again, when his partner looked at him seriously and stopped walking.

“No,” he pleaded. “I have to be alone right now.”

Koschei didn't think this was a good idea, but nodded. He felt something building in his throat and quickly swallowed it down, didn't want to show any tears, not now, not with Theta still able to see them.

Reluctantly, he drove his hand through his dark, still wet hair, trying not to let anyone see how upset he was from their trip outside. Now that several pairs of eyes were resting on him, he had to be even stronger.

And so he let Theta go alone, while he made his own way to the bar, let his eyes wander through the room carefully, pouring in a drink. Nothing to numb his senses, though – It was important to keep a clear head now.

There they stood, all the professors, still in a tight circle, and threw him glances in shifts. He could see that his culture teacher had her eyes permanently fixed on the spot where Theta had just disappeared from.

Anger rolled over him, anger because they treated Theta and him like a criminal, while the true criminal had followed them outside to torment and abuse. Anger of himself, because he hadn't been able to protect Theta, because he had been stuck in Torvic's grip like an idiot instead of fighting back. He hadn't had any control over the situation, over himself, hadn't been able to think anything, had just felt his survival instincts kicking in and screaming at him to get air, the water in his lungs, burning, choking, the only presence in his mind, had waved his arms about and begged for mercy and all of that while Theta had been watching, while Theta had decided to... to kill for him.

He stopped himself quickly, taking a long sip. He needed to sharpen his senses, keep control and to find out what was actually happening. He couldn't make the same mistake twice, couldn't bring Theta into even more trouble.

And indeed, he noticed something that had slipped his attention earlier.

Borusa wasn't here.

And before Koschei even understood why, he had already started running.

“Theta Sigma.”

The boy stood and fought – unsuccessfully – against his tears. He felt battered and bruised and the water, that was still sticking to him felt like blood, too hot, too thick, treacherous and reeking of death.

But Borusa didn't seem surprised about his tears, on the contrary, a sad smile played around his lips.

“Time to wash off the blood, is it?”

Theta froze. He could feel the cold creep over his whole body, a chill, wandering over his skin and freezing his blood. The tears stopped immediately, replaced by a stiff, attentive gaze into Borusa's face. One sentence, one look to his teacher, his mentor, was enough...

He knew what had happened.

Theta took a deep breath.

“What's happening now?” he asked and felt more than he heard how broken his voice was, hoarse from the crying and the tension.

Borusa sighed heavily. “Nothing, as long as you do as I say.”

Theta blinked. “What?”

“You have to take your distance from this boy. Soon, you'll be full-fledged Time Lords and you...” He stopped shortly, seemingly thinking about how to explain this whole affair most delicately. “He's not good for you. He's a connection you shouldn't be maintaining.”

Theta's breath caught. It was, as if someone had punched him with a fist right into his stomach, every air gone from his lungs. This must've been how Torvic had felt, held down underwater, trying desperately to...

“He is... he's my... I can't.”

He couldn't ask for this, it couldn't be true. He knew what Borusa was talking about. He had seen something inside Koschei, something dark, again and again. Masks and cruelty and coldness, it existed and he knew it did. But leaving him? A life without Koschei? He was his safety, his footing, his home. More home than this whole planet, this school, his family, had ever been.

He was supposed to leave this all behind for... what for? His own safety, that would never again feel safe without Koschei? No. No... no...

Borusa seemed to have guessed what was going on inside of him.

“You two both have a chance to get your own TARDIS each,” he explained quietly. “You could travel the universe, become great Time Lords with excellent status. Theta Sigma, you are destined for a great future... But only, if you sever this connection.”

Theta could hardly speak, the only thing he could bring out, was a croaking “I killed a boy.”

Borusa nodded earnestly. “Nobody knows of it and it will stay this way, if you stay away from Koschei. If you shouldn't... well. Then he will be the one who has killed the boy.”

Theta shook his head in blind denial, desperate. “I killed him! It was me! Why is he the one who... that's... that's not fair.”

Borusa smiled.

“One last wisdom I can give you for your way, Theta, is this. Nothing in this universe is fair. Stay away from him, boy. Or you'll hurt both of you.”

And with that, the professor had turned around and stepped away, back into the direction he had come from.

Theta stared at him for a few seconds, then he shook his head and ran. Ran back to the room, he would only share with Koschei for one last day. He resisted the urge to drop down onto his partner's bed and hide underneath his blanket. Instead, he stepped into the shower and washed off the blood not sticking to him. Thought about what had just happened.

He had been blackmailed, that much he got. Blackmailed and threatened. And there was nothing he could do, not if he didn't want people to know what had happened. If he told people himself... he'd be bringing Koschei into danger, too. His last hope had been to run away with him, take him far, far away from Gallifrey and its influence, heal him while discovering the beauty of the universe with him by his side, heal him from this creeping darkness that had started spreading inside him.

Theta took a deep breath, but the warm water didn't bring the relaxation he had hoped for. It brought memories of what had happened in the sea, seemed to dig itself into his face, seemed to wrap around him with wet ropes.

While Theta was stumbling out of the shower, desperately wrapping himself up in towels, he made two decisions.

He would do whatever he could to bring Koschei away from here, even, if it meant he would lose him. Should they meet again outside of Gallifrey, he'd explain him everything, would trust on their love being stronger than the time and distance he was going to put between them. He was sure it'd be hell, but yes, they could do it. They had to.

And he wouldn't carry this night with him. It had managed to destroy the only good thing he had ever found on Gallifrey and he wouldn't let it take more. He didn't want to live in fear of water for the rest of his life, didn't want the guilt, the blood on his hands, when he had already gotten the worst of punishments.

And with his last tears, he locked these thoughts out of his mind, focused, yet trembling from the efforts and suppressed sobs.

He had to be strong, for Koschei, and this was where it started.

He had barely finished that thought, when the door to their room was being rammed open. Theta gulped, grabbed the towel tighter and stepped out of the bathroom in the same second Koschei started calling for him.

“Thete!” he panted and Theta realised with a painful jab to his hearts that he must've had run all the way up to their room. “Borusa, I think he...”

Theta suppressed every motion on his face with all the strength he had left. Oh, this was his Koschei, putting the strings together all on his own...

But he had to destroy it all, here and now, before it brought the boy into trouble even Theta couldn't save him from.

“Koschei,” he began and fought the breaking of his voice with a little cough. “I think we shouldn't... see each other any more.”

Empty, thunderstruck eyes. Rarely had this beautiful steel blue looked so cold to him. And at the same time so desperate, almost pleading...

He shivered.

“What? What are you talking?”

“You're... not good for me.”

“I...” Koschei stared at him. “Is this because of Torvic? We have... we...”

He took a deep breath, didn't seem able to understand what was happening. Beautiful, clever Koschei, able to realise within seconds that they had been caught by Borusa, utterly unable to realise what was happening right before his eyes.

“We have hidden his body,” Theta finished coldly. As coldly as he could manage, seeking help from the coldness that had laid around his hearts, that was threatening to freeze him to death. “I killed someone because of... because of you.”

It was unfair and he knew it. He was using the very thing against Koschei he knew the boy would never be able to answer to. Never, no matter what he threw at Koschei, would his friend remind him that the blame of tonight lay on him alone.

“I hid his body, let you talk me into hiding what I did.”

Koschei opened his mouth, trying to say anything but Theta lifted his hand and to his infinite surprise, it really did stop his friend from speaking.

“I'll stay quiet,” he promised.

It was the only promise he could still give Koschei, the only safety he just couldn't bring himself to take from him. And even though he knew he was about to hurt Koschei deeper than anyone else ever had, he knew, that his friend would keep his silence also.

“But I can't stay with you.”

And with these words, he turned around, stepped back into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Fought with the tears, locked away his mind, locked it from Koschei for the first time since they had formed their bond. He couldn't risk him reading anything of what had happened today inside.

With trembling hands, he grabbed his robes from the heatings and pulled them over his head. He didn't leave the bathroom, not for a very long time, not before he heard the loud bang that announced that Koschei had left their room without another word.

He smiled sadly. He knew he could count on Koschei's pride and temperament. But he also knew how deeply he had hurt him. Knew, how hard it must've hit him to find his mind closed off from him.

Hell, Theta himself was hurting just as much, felt like he was simply falling apart, had lost what had always kept him together. Pain and emptiness battled for a spot in his insides, both wanting to come to the surface, wrap around his hearts, around the empty spot where Koschei had been and Theta let them fight their battle, didn't pick, let them rage on. Whatever it was, it didn't matter – It wasn't Koschei.

Emptiness. There was nothing but Emptiness inside of him, eating away everything else, made everything disappear from his view. It was weirdly quiet as he stepped to the front, ready to look into the Untempered Schism, right into the Vortex.

He had thought he would be nervous, flooded with power, but there was just quietness, calm, every bit of feeling pushed away into far corners of his mind. He knew, somewhere around stood Theta, watching him. He hadn't looked for him once and yet he felt his eyes resting on him in this ocean of eyes.

Koschei had his own head raised, did his last step and waited for something to replace the emptiness inside of him – Anything.

Instead, his emptiness seemed to have screamed for something to fill him and that's what happened – Others had received all the knowledge of the universe from the Untempered Schism, a superior understanding of time and space, and he... he received all of that... and more.

And with a scream, Koschei fell backwards, his pupils widened, his mouth wide open. He was still screaming when the sounds got swallowed by breathlessness, still screaming with all that he had, didn't breathe, did no longer perceive what was happening around him. In his mind, where Theta had been before, where a fire had been, warmer than anything he had ever known, a noise had started, so merciless, cruel and resounding, it seemed to have driven anything else right out of his head, left nothing but cold and panic.

He screamed and screamed, felt his face fall into soft grasses, screamed for Theta, screamed for anyone that could drive this horrible noise away from his mind, screamed Theta's name again and again, but there was just Borusa, his cold grip, unresisting, that pulled him away, worried quiet voices, none of them Theta's, pairs of eyes following him, none of them Theta's, while he was being dragged into the hospital and noise, so much noise.

For the second time today, Koschei had lost all control over himself and had lost everything along with it and while tears were streaming down his face and the drumming slowly built a nest inside his mind, while he was assured again and again that nobody else heard anything and all of this was surely just an unexpected side effect that would soon vanish, he promised himself: Never again.

Not for Theta, not for anyone else, would he give up his control again, the last rest of it the noise in his head was leaving him, he would fight for it, until his last breath.

And when he breathed calmly again, rearranged the emptiness inside his hearts, wrapped the cold around it like a protecting armour and when the Time Lords asked him again and again whether he had chosen an official name for himself or would just stick to the old one, he brought out a quiet, but determined, “The Master”.

Some time in the night, he had fallen asleep, the eventful night finally having worn him down and while he was flinching and twitching in his nightmares, nobody noticed the little, blonde silhouette in the room, of a boy who had just been declared a Time Lord.

Theta – No, he was the Doctor now, he had known it the second he had seen Koschei lie on the ground, weeping – cried silent tears.

But he had to stay strong. He knew he had to. Strong and far, far away for Koschei's own protection.

And never, never again cowardly. Never again cruel. It was a promise for himself, so nights like these could never happen again.

And for Koschei.


	4. Chapter 4

The rumours were following the Doctor around, no matter where he went. Gallifrey was a big world, full of uneventfulness that led Time Lords to throw themselves onto every black story, every cruelty they heard of.

The Doctor knew of his plans. It was crazy – He hadn't talked to Koschei – The Master, but no, that was just idiotic – for many years, decades actually, but the whole of Gallifrey knew of his plans, the rebellion he had built, how he was looking for soldiers to fight for his cause, people to storm the citadel and make him President of the Time Lords.

They whispered them through the streets and buildings, watched the wind carry them from Time Lord to Time Lord, city to city. He had made himself quite a name, the young Time Lord who had already died his first few times, had opened his eyes to the twin suns younger than before, but with the same, unwavering ambitions.

The Doctor shook his head with a smile.

It was typical for Koschei, making grand plans, dreaming big, the urge for change and adventure.

The red grass was crunching beneath his feet, the air was heavy and loaded from rain, clear in his lungs. The Doctor stood and looked around, a little sigh stuck in his throat that was only held back by pure efforts of the will.

He had come here often, in the last time. The place, in which it had all started, in which they had found each other. He had been alone to this day, hadn't been granted a TARDIS yet, and his bones had become old and heavy, his body weak and broken.

Everything that was left from the future he had dreamt of here, in Koschei's arms, were rumours.

Time had caught up with him, but this place didn't seem to have changed. High, red grasses, a free view to the wide sky, peaceful, calm remoteness that delighted his hearts and the vastness of it all, the width of the grasses spreading out around him – The same false promise of freedom the Doctor had believed in for so long. He could feel how everything inside of him was yearning to just keep on walking, until he reached the edges of this world, and further.

But he knew if he was to wander further through the red grasses, all he'd find was desolation and long lost memories, until he finally reached the end, reached something that would remind him of the end, of the undisputable fact that he was trapped inside a glass bowl, with the exit locked for him.

“Hello, old man.”

The Doctor flinched. Despite his age, he was astonishingly fast when it came to facing potential danger. He didn't recognise the new voice, he had never seen the new face, yet he knew immediately, who had sneaked up behind him.

Koschei had hollow cheek bones, pale skin, and dark eyes with golden sparks that made him shiver. He looked unhealthy, stressed, drained, but a little, arrogant smile played around the corners of his mouth, so familiar, that it made the Doctor's hearts ache.

But he knew he couldn't let anything show on his face, and so he folded his hands behind his back in fake serenity, only to cramp them together as soon as they were safe from Koschei's intense gazes.

He raised his chin.

“Like the beard.”

Koschei smirked.

“I thought it's time to try something new.”

The Doctor nodded.

“Yes, I understand. A whole new body wasn't change enough, hm?”

“A little change might be good for you, too. You look tired,” Koschei replied with tilted head.

The Doctor shook his head stiffly.

“I'm not planning on changing my bodies like some people their clothes.”

He turned his back to Koschei and looked up to the sky in a desperate attempt to fight the tears building in his eyes.

It was one thing to stand here, on this spot where they had whispered their promises to each other, where they had bonded, where they had found new hope.

But standing here with Koschei, who was so different, yet the same, having to hold his distance still, feel the cold of the wind... He wished he had never come here and was unbearably happy that he had at the same time.

Happy to see these beautiful, gold-sprinkled eyes.

And yet he knew he shouldn't allow himself to feel this way.

Koschei didn't seem to understand the seriousness of the situation. With a quiet sigh and a suddenly thing voice, he whispered, “I hadn't expected to meet you here.”

He wondered what Borusa would do, if he were to just pull Koschei towards him, hide his face in an embrace like he used to do so often as a child, just to forget it all, just for a day. He could impossibly watch them here, could impossibly...

The Doctor took a deep breath.

A hand was laid on his shoulder from behind.

Of course he couldn't. Couldn't do this to Koschei. A clean break, no painful back and forth, he had sworn himself, for him.

Still, this hand on his shoulder felt better than anything he had felt in the last few years filled with solitude, yearning and oppression.

“When...,” he began, having to clear his throat because his throat had run dry. “When you're Lord President... Do me a favour and make sure I can get a TARDIS? If I'm stuck here any longer, I might go crazy.”

Koschei smirked, playing with a strand of his long-grown hair. The Doctor closed his eyes for a few seconds, before he turned back around, facing what he had tried so long to lock out of his life.

Koschei's eyes had grown colder. He wasn't sure if this was what dying did to a Time Lord of if it was Gallifrey leaving its marks. But the warmth that had once welcomed the Doctor – Theta – was gone. He wondered if he was ever going to see it again. It had been a warmth for him and him only, able to let even the steeliest of blues melt.

He wondered if there was someone else he gave it to these days.

“You heard of that, huh?”

The Doctor couldn't help but laugh.

“Everyone has. And you can't tell me you aren't perfectly aware of that.”

Koschei smiled, cool and calculating.

“Let them sit in their lounge chairs, trembling in fear,” he grinned. “Someone who's scared makes mistakes.”

The Doctor shook his head softly. In his mind, he saw the dark shape pressing down a screaming boy under the water, again and again.

“Spreading fear and terror wherever you go. Your name is only being spoken in awe and whispers, your followers bring danger over their own families and names – Is that what you wanted?”

Koschei raised his chin proudly, his eyes gleaming coldly.

“And why not?” he asked in biting tone. “What is wrong with some rightful admiration? Everything _you'll_ ever get is a rolling of the eyes. The old, quirky man living alone on his mountain, looking out to the sky.”

The Doctor watched him silently for a few seconds.

“And what is wrong with _that_?” he finally asked. “I remember a time when those were your dreams also. Leaving Gallifrey behind you. Seeing the universe.”

“Behind _us_, Theta,” came the biting response.

The Doctor flinched, not having heard this name in a very long time...

“But the only thing behind us are those dreams. So please excuse me, while I reach my new goals.” The grass beneath his feet rustled, as Koschei walked away. He was almost out of reach, when he turned around one last time. There was a cruel smile on his face.

“Maybe I'll send you your TARDIS. If I feel generous. Just, so I don't have to see you on my planet any longer.” He tilted his head, as if he was thinking about it. “Maybe not.”

The Doctor took a step into his direction, didn't want to part fighting, not again. Didn't want to part at all, but knowing that they had to. They had to, if he wanted Koschei to actually reach his goals.

For Koschei's dreams.

And so the Doctor didn't take another step, just stood there, in the high grasses, eyes stuck on his old friend in silent desperation.

“Koschei...” he began, wanted to explain, say anything, make peace.

But the other man just snorted.

“That's not my name any more,” he explained quietly. “Koschei is dead.”

And with calm steps, the Master turned his back to him and walked away.

Rumours.

The Doctor had gotten used to it being all that he heard of his first and only love. Had gotten used to them being his only sign of life of the Master.

But this one hadn't been for everyone's ears, this one wasn't one spread by the ambitious Time Lord himself, this one was something else, something dark.

“Failed?” he asked quietly, his voice breaking, his lips dry. “Wanted?”

“The CIA is after him. Please Doctor, if anyone can do something...”

Her voice was of a worried mother, her eyes told of long, tired nights and tears.

But everyone else's eyes had been glued to them the second the rebellion leader's mother had sought out the old town's eccentric. And the Doctor knew, he couldn't give her any promises, not here, not without bringing the Master into even more trouble than he already was in.

“I'm sorry,” he assured her as he took both her hands in his and pressed soothingly. “But I'm sure he can take care of himself.”

And with those words, he had ran away. Something seemed to have fallen onto his chest, threatening to choke him, while he was trying to ban the sobs of a worried mother from his mind.

The CIA was after Koschei, was trying to get the thwarted revolt-leader behind bars and here he sat, trapped, helpless, threatened from nothing but other people's gazes, Time Lords who could carry rumours all over the planet faster than birds could carry their songs.

Guilt, tears, rage, desperation, too many emotions raging inside his chest, making his legs tremble, making his hearts ache. With a breathless gasp, the Doctor disappeared behind the next corner, pressed himself against the wall and tried to get some air.

He thought of his promise to never be cruel, never be cowardly.

And he thought about how ironic it was to be able to stay true to his promise for everyone but the only man he loved more than the universe he had given up for him.


End file.
